Why not?

Well, yeah.

So, I’m just at work, eating away at a fantastic poptart and knitting a scarf. I’m not sure what I should blog about today. I had nothing abnormal happen. Not really. But I guess we could talk about the marriage thing.

You may ask, “Why, what marriage thing”?

Well, the guy I’m dating right now was once engaged, but she left him. Well, now he doesn’t ever want to get married. It’s a little upsetting to me. I really want to get married one day. Then, the other day, he called me unmarriable due to the fact that I haven’t seen a lot of 80’s movies. Told me that he would make me a list of movies to watch, then if we should ever break up the next guy would be able to marry me. I mean jesus, unsensitive much?

I also want kids one day, but he already has a kid and doesn’t want anymore. What should I do? Should I just wait and see where it goes, see if he’ll change his mind? Or is he never going to change his mind? I’m not sure. I suppose I’ll just stick it out. I like him to much to leave him.

Anyways. I love my job. I don’t know if any of you know this, but I work for uscellular answering phones all day. So when you have a problem with your phone, you call me. I’m a customer support representative. It’s pretty awesome, $10 and hour to tell you what’s wrong with your phone or bill. Some of the customers are so nice, some are funny, and some are just plain mean. But I still love this job. The supervisors are awesome, the associates are awesome. It just works.

Anyways, I’m gonna head out. I get of in about 13 minutes.

I don’t even know how to start this, or what really to say, honestly. My significant other just broke the news at work that he’ll be going to Texas at the beginning of february on a roadtrip. This came up because I’m planning a trip to disneyworld for us and two other people and he suddenly tells me this. When I told him that he never told me all he does is look at me and say, “Yes, I did.”

But i know for a fact he didn’t. That’s not just something you spring on someone, especially not a long term girlfriend that you conveniently forgot to bring it up to, a girlfriend that apparently isn’t invited, but several other people from work are. Thanks, a lot.

So now I’m pitifully sitting at my desk and blogging to NO ONE. But I just want to say that I’m upset. Yes, admittedly, I cried a little. I’m not sure why, but my chest just feels super constricted. Is it because I feel like he’s leaving me? Probably. Because, In a way he is. How do you just conveniently forget to tell someone something like that? Like it’s not somewhat routine changing. I probably wouldn’t have known until the day of had I not brought up disney world. I wonder how he would have posed it, “Hey babe, I’m leaving for Texas tomorrow with some people from work, see you in a couple of weeks or so. Call me if required”?

I mean Jesus christ this is kind of a sitdown conversation. I mean WHERE IN GODS NAME IS HE GONNA GET THE MONEY FOR THIS? I sure as hell know that I’M not paying for.

I just want to go home and sleep, or clean. Either one sounds a lot better thaan sitting here in this desk right now, angsting over something that he will probably see as “A weird reason for being upset.”

Is it that weird, am I honestly being stupid?